Did you ever wonder what the guys is thinking when he hears poetry by Maya? Here is my rendition of a conversation going on in the head of most men have when they hear her... I saw Maya's poem down the side of Amy's blog site and just couldn't resist.
November 19, 2008 — Maya Angelou
MUD’s Corollary (MC)– The Other side of the coin
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…
MC 90% of the fights in a marriage are caused by money problems. If the couple sits down and discusses money as equal partners and spend to support their life goals, this part of their life will be much easier
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…
MC Yes, and she should shop where she can get good pretty clothes. Over $50 For a pair of shoes that you wear only once or twice is stupid, STUPID, S-T-U-P-I-D
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …a youth she’s content to leave behind…
MC And it doesn’t need to be a reputation that you have to live down.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….
MC Instead of the guys retelling about her in lurid details. You should see the details on the bathroom stalls all over America.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…
MC A step ladder, a good pair of gloves and a willingness to learn. A good can of A&D Ointment never hurts.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …one friend who always makes her laugh…and one who lets her cry…
MC Hopefully he will be strong enough to laugh with you and cry if it really bad.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
MC And she doesn’t have to buy it new. Look around and shop for the best price wherever it resides.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…
MC Starting out with Tupperware glasses and grandma’s old silverware isn’t a bad place to start and work up from there. Besides, the good china only comes out once in a blue moon. Use the Corel and that way you can break a plate and not care. One of these days someone in the family will die and leave you at least one set of china (Or more if you aren't lucky)
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …a feeling of control over her destiny…
MC Hell, She needs to work hard to make her destiny the best she can. Get an education, work hard and save a few dollars will do wonders for you.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to fall in love without losing herself…
MC If someone loves you, really loves you, you will be as a couple more than you were as singles. Plus it will give you someone to feed the dog when you get called out of town.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…
MC Good luck on this one. Sometimes a foot needs stomped on and then you walk away. How are they going to learn. To think everyone will love you is child like.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…when to try harder… and when to walk away…
MC Most of the time no one will notice either way so run if you have to.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents…
MC I agree on the parents part but girdles and high heels have changed women for centuries.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that her childhood may not have been perfect.. but it’s over…
MC Only when you want it to be over. Living your childhood over with your children is way cool. Go to Disney land and buy one of those stupid hats and a t-shirt that says I’m with goofy, and he doesn’t mind. (The one that I saw said she was f^&%*g goofy but she was being thrown out of the park)
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
MC And for best results, tell him what you like and don’t like.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…
MC Crap, get a cat and over feed it. Alone is not so bad when you get to control the cable TV controller.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…
MC And have a built in crap detector turned on most of the time.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing…
MC Man if you are looking for soothing in the woods you are in for a nasty surprise. Between the ticks, chiggers, the lack of toilets and you will hate sleeping on the ground.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she can and can't accomplish in a day…a month…and a year… DREAM, BELIEVE, CREATE AND BECOME
MC Write it down and tell you significant other where you stand. And what about love, laugh and a good glass of wine now and then.
I agree with Maya and with MUD, except on your points about the high heels and the woods. This is one woman who dreads high heels and loves the woods. I have a greater fear of breaking my neck in heels than anything in the woods.
ReplyDeleteHaHa! Well played. Okay, some of it is silly but I guess Maya's point is that women should be strong and confident. That they shouldn't rely on others to carry them. I come from a family of strong women so this is all common sense to me. As for the nice outfit for your employer or date...I have always heard you should dress for the job you want, and go for comfort/praticality on a date. It's worked for me so far.
ReplyDeleteI guess my point really here is that strong women with a strong man can make a wonderful combination. I hope that you can Keith can someday look back after 41 years and be glad that you neither one had to go it alone. On the 11th of February, Barb and I will have been together 41 years and as long as we both shall live. MUD
ReplyDeleteha ha ... loved it.
ReplyDeleteI gotta tell ya, MUD, this is by far my most favorite of your posts. In fact, I'm linking to it tomorrow. You rock.
ReplyDeleteOver from Flea's and I take exception to the $50 shoe remark ... how many times has a man gone to HD and spent WAY more than that on some tool he only will use once in a while .. ? Likely more times than a woman will only wear a pair of shoes once ... silly man
ReplyDeleteDear Daryl. I buy tools to do a job. If the cost of the tool is less than having someone else do the job,If a task is completed and have a tool left at a cost less than having the job done, BONUS for me. I am the first to admit that I spend over $150 dollars for the shoes I wear daily. They are wonderful on my feet and don't make my butt look fat. Thanks for stopping in and commenting. You are always welcome here. If I count all the shoes in my closet, there are about six pairs of my shoes and boots. How many do you have?
ReplyDeleteMUD