Golden Oldie

I can't remember if I told this one in here or not but here is a "Golden Oldie" told again.

 National Guard Convoys in the summer in Kansas were common. Some cheap bastard long since gone decided that we could not use the Interstate in Kansas because most of it was Turnpike and way more expensive than it was worth. So, while driving down the roads in Kansas, it was common to run into one of our battalions in column shuttling their men and equipment to some summer camp location or to  Fort Riley. For the most part, they drove about 45 MPH on roads that were way too narrow but that was our rule. 

About once an hour we would just pull to the side of the road for a "Potty Halt." Some of the roads in Kansas back then had no shoulder on the road and that meant that we were forced to use the ditches in a lot of cases. Sometimes they were nice and dry and most of the times in early summer in Kansas they weren't. The story I am telling was one of those times they weren't.
It seems that one of the firing batteries in my battalion got told to stop is an area that was a little better than a swamp, but not much. When the trucks tried to get back on the road, at least one was not able to pull its self and the attached howitzer out of the mud. The Battery maintenance section had all the chains and the truck waited alongside of the road as the maintenance truck pulled around the truck to see if they could manage to pull that sucker out of the quagmire. If they were unable, the trails party had a wrecker that almost always could do the job.

The battery Commander had been directing traffic around all the mess and as the maintenance truck stopped, one of the mechanics tossed out the 50 foot chain to hook to the front of the stuck truck. Just as the Battery Commander picked up the chain and started dragging it to the front of the stuck truck, who should appear but the Battalion Commander. He stopped and leaned out of his jeep. He hollered, "Captain, what are you doing down there dragging that Chain?" The captain looked at him and replied, "Shit Sir, did you ever try to push one of the som'bitches?" The Colonel just drove off with a smile on his face. 

MUD