Just how think, You dumb I am.

I believe that is a malapropism. Or a word or phrase you are thinking but it comes out wrong.  Once I heard someone talking about the "Chirpets cricking" instead of the crickets chirping and I almost can't say it right.  Oh well, I can still spell (with the aid of spell checker) even if I type a lot of words wrong.  The one example I hear a lot is the misuse of the word prostrate for prostate.  It just doesn't ring when I say that over the age of 40 a man's bicycle seat needs to be larger than his prostrate. The funny part is that I can't ever remember using the word prostrate in my blog.  I darn sure wouldn't say it.  "I think I shall remain prostrate for a week if I hurt my back."  Nope, not me...

My point in writing this is this has been the week that everyone must think I am a complete fool or at least a significant number of people do.  Cases in point - Yesterday some New York number showed up on my caller ID.  I screen my calls and have seen this number a couple of times so I answered it to tell them that I am on the National No Call List and if they don't take my name off their call list I will report them.  A really fast talker said he was George from the shipping center and he had my help needed and alert notification machine ready to ship and wanted to confirm when and where I wanted it.  I am offended that in spite  of my falling down a few times this past year that anyone would think I need a med-alert bracelet and I damn sure didn't order one.  My standard speech was first that Again I am on the National No Call list and if they persisted I would report them.   Second if they sent me anything unsolicited I would leave it on the front porch until someone carried it off and I would never pay them a dime.  Most of this I was over talking him and he didn't shut up until I said "What part of no don't you understand?"  Click...

The second time this week was when an e-mail arrived in my in box that told me that I had a relative in England that left me $ 800,000  (or somewhere near that amount because the symbol was in British Sterling Pounds or Euros or something a US typist can't find on the standard QWERTY key board)  First, I don't have any relatives in England that I know of and there have been reports of a virus that is going around that captures your computer if you open an e-mail and you have to pay some software company to get rid of it.  That goes in the trash and then I empty it from the trash bin. I was tempted to open it on Barb's Mac as almost nothing is aimed at a MAC.  Speaking of MAC,

Yesterday Barbara got a call for Barbara Peetey and they said they were from Microsoft.  Well, I hate to break it to you but Barb has a Macintosh Computer and hates my Microsoft software.  The unique way that Window's 8 has my computer working just frustrates her to death.  We share a lot of pictures and she hates the way they are stored.  She likes to work off a list that is a file by date and then she can see snaps of the pics when she opens the file.   Windows 8 shows her the file by some picture in the file and then the pictures in the file as a slide show.  That is if she can get past the icon to find the pictures.  But in short, they got the speech about being on the National no call list and then click. Just a short note, I do not like how Windows 8 has changed some of the ways my machine works but mostly because I am a dinosaur and don't want to learn more ways to do the same thing.  Every time I get Dave over I have him show me something and he does.  (after much eye rolling because he likes me and knows most of the things he shows me are repeat items)

A while back, Dave got me a copy of Dragon Software.  It is that software that lets you talk and it will write down what it thinks you said.  It is another software program that you have to learn to be able to use.  I can basically use it once I get the word processing program open but do not have the ability to name all the moves it takes to get there.  I got a call from them and they want me to purchase an update for $99.  The insult of this is that they are offering on National TV the basic program for $59.00.  Heck, they are even throwing in a headset that I paid extra for.  Now lets see, would I purchase a update for a program for $99 that I can buy for $59?   Not only no , but hell no... It kind of makes me mad that I know they will turn around and call their new customers wanting to sell the update for a hundred bucks. 

Years ago, my mother was married to a second husband. Wait, after the first one died.  When he died, I was made the executor of his estate.  He had a few credit cards that mother and I made sure were paid off and I called them one day to cancel the cards.  You would have thought that I was committing fraud.  In spite of the fact that I knew there was no balance on his cards and that I had all the pertinent information they wanted me to send them a copy of the order making me his executor and a copy of the death certificate.  No, all I want to do is to let you know that I am cutting up the old cards and there will never be another charge I will pay for.  The lady said they would send new cards on the anniversary of him getting his cards.  I politely told her that I would give the new cards to anyone that wanted them and after publishing in the paper we would no longer be responsible for any debts against his estate, they would play cuffy getting a dime out of me or mother.   I then told her that I am the person that gets the mail for mother and damn sure that I would make good on my promise.  Guess what, they didn't ever send updated cards and didn't have to spend time and money making copies and sending them copies.

I often loo at the old blogs to see if there are an comments.  Normally there are none but on occasion, there will be a poorly worded reply and it is just some organization tying to get me to contact them.  The most recent one was from www.imarksweb.org. Only a complete fool would not know that anything that ends in .org is not an individual. 

Just now, the phone rang and it was listed as 800 service.  With caller ID those calls go off into the holding area of the telephone system.  I even had one call that was listed as a blocked call.  Well, just how think you dumb I am?  See you on the next installment of Denny the misguided typist and his QWERTY keyboard will travel. If you are also a dinosaur and don't know what a QWRERTY keyboard is, just look at the letters on the first line of letters on your keyboard.

MUD