What Will Your Obit Say?

For some strange reason, I am one of those people that read the Obituaries each day.  I joke that I am just making sure that I am not in there but I do find it interesting to see the transition of names across the decades.   How long has it been since you have seen an Opal, Warren, Dennis, or Glen.  Well, Warren is way too easy as I have a cousin who's son named his son Warren after his grandfather.   Oh well, back on topic.

I think I found the perfect obit yesterday here in Topeka.  A Lady who was  had an obituary that stated that she died after 70 years of bad behavior.  Not sure what they thought wasn't appropriate but you gotta give them an A for telling the truth.  I read a lot of  things about people that couldn't have been all that good.  Some of them committed their acts in my company so I know what not to print in my obit.

Here are some highlights that might not make it into my obit.  I was an ornery little boy and full of mischief that included deviling the hell out of two of the nicest sisters anyone could have ever had. While I had the goal to be as good as my dog thought I was, I am sure that his standards weren't very high.  I saw him lick and eat things that I couldn't/wouldn't even think about. 

I am pretty sure that I was the kid that other parents warned their children about.  I like to think that I was like the germs that some mothers expose their children to so they will have immunities later on in life.  I am pretty sure that most of my friends were fairly bright but they were kind of tame compared to some of the fanciful ideas I would come up with.  I am sure that the phrase "Hey Watch this" or "I wonder what will happen if I do this" crossed my lips on at least a daily or at least a weekly basis.  More in the summers and less in the winters.

I think my wife will probably leave out the really bad parts when she has my Obit published.  At least the names of some of the girl friends will not make it into the litany of my life.  As far as I know, I only fathered one son but there are things that could have happened that I claim to have no knowledge of. 

There is a collection of war stories on this computer that some day will make it into a collection even a book perhaps but I would have to get sued for liable in some cases.  I'm not sure that I have enough names to change all the innocent or the guilty.  

I am fairly sure that many of the teachers I had in school would be amazed that I actually graduated from College.  I somehow had the idea that D stood for Denny so I got lots of them.  It wasn't that I didn't learn, it was that homework being turned in just wasn't in my brain housing group.  I am sure that the teachers were proud of how well I did on the standardized tests, they just weren't sure how the information got in there.  I could read the text book for science or history and never open it again the rest of the year.  I did have to open the math books but only to find out what the problems were, if and only if I decided to turn them in. 

I hope that everyone will see that I listened to my Dad's advice about Marriage.  He said don't do it unless you find the person you will spend the rest of your life with.   I hope that 48 years meets his standard.  I might just be lucky that my ADD just kept me here plugging away.

Oh well, There is a lot to do today even if it isn't on the calendar.  Have a great week out there.


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