There is an old skeleton hiding in the back closet of the Petty family and many people are reluctant to open that door and discuss it. Lets start back with my Dad. His erratic behavior was not as apparent until he returned from WWII. There were periods of depression followed by such highs that he could do no wrong. The beautiful part was that he was a truly talented man in many ways and he could cope for longer periods than some. During my early years he had times where he would undergo shock treatments and be hospitalized. Then the treatment of his lifetime came in the form of Lithium. His life normalised out and he became the boring old guy that watched a lot of NASCAR and golf on TV.
The second problem that we have is our addictions can rule our lives. In spite of the best information in the world, several of the family still smoke. There are a few that if we lived closer to the casino's would gamble too much and then there is the big alcohol problem that sneaks up and bites many of us from time to time.
I am a drunk! I would be an alcoholic but I can remain sober and not have to attend those meetings. Thank God that dad's liver was damaged and he stopped drinking to add to his Manic depressive or Bi-polar problems. At least one other member of the family has also admitted her problem. My long lost cousin Jim called me last night and told me that he had almost given up drinking.
I was coping with the stress of a career with a lot of pressure. I had not found that place that allowed me to go home at the end of a hard day and feel good if I had done my best. The key for me was that the harder my day, the more I "Needed" a drink. When you need one is precisely the time you should walk away. If you think you can't stop drinking, try it and see. If you can, do. If you can't get some help.
If the members of our family want to find a fitting tribute to my mother, we need to find a way to hold an intervention in the life of one of our family and help her put it all back together. There is a tough old road out there that will drive her down until she understand that taking her medicine and stopping drinking is the first and second step back to the things we call normal. Tough Love will demand that she participate of find the doors closed. Somehow we have to find a way to get her attention and help.
Yes, I know it is easy to be preachy from miles away. All I can say is that I've been there , done that.
MUD
I think all families have to be careful of addictions. I have always been afraid of it happening to me, and often give up little things here and there as an exercise to prove I can. So far I have not found anything I can't live without, and trust me with my health issues ALL things have been put to the test. If I can give up red meat, dairy, egg yolks, fried foods, butter, chocolate ,caffine, all coffee, alcohol ,soda and artifical sweetners all at once then I think I will make it;)
ReplyDeleteBi-polar also runs in my family. We thought that is what we were dealing with with our oldest that just moved back home... but, no. She's dealing with another issue.
ReplyDeleteI have an aunt that is 11 years older than me. She is a heroine addict. She was diagnosed bi-polar in her forties and put on the proper meds. She graduated from college at 50 and helps others now... many in our family lost hope where she was concerned.
I pray y'all reach your family member. Just remember as long as she has breath, there is HOPE.