Good Advice and the Petty Corollarys

Good Advice from over 120 years of Experience

My Good Friend Harvey forwarded me this bit of good advice. I will add a few word here and there but mine will be all in red to let you know

Old Farmer's Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. I vote for
electric fences when dogs are involved.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. If you think getting a loan is a royal pain, wait until you try to pay it back

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. It is more fun to live between a library and a mall though

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered....not yelled. But words that get to your heart are more easily learned and remembered.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. If you think size is all that's important, don't try on a badger, or a snapping turtle

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word. And when you eat them they'll gag you.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. Or argue with a Petty'll do the same thing.

The best sermons are lived, not preached. But every once in a while get naked and play in the sprinkler...

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives. Unless they are rich and then compare away.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. But you ain't been to a Petty party and heard quiet have ya'.

Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. The only problem with this is that when you get older you remember the things you did as a kid and didn't have good judgement. Hell, then you get to where can't remember where you put your car keys.

Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none. Sometimes it just feels good to scratch

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance. But, remember the nekked playin' in the sprinkler can be a hell of a lot of fun.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. And, you find more and more you look like one of your parents. Sometime that's good and mostly it is bad because you don't remember them from when they were young.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in..

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.

If you think that the race always goes to the swift, the fight to the big guy, and smart people rule, you might be wrong - But that's the way I bet most of the time



  1. MUD, that is priceless. Seriously!

    Every single one of those is somewhat familiar.

    But I think "Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. It is more fun to live between a library and a mall though" has to be my favorite...other than maybe the deal about gagging on your own cruel words, and the deal about playing in the sprinkler...

    Heck, the whole thing was good.

  2. Remember that naked means no clothes. Nekkid means no clothes and up to no good.

  3. Yeah, MUD! That kinda' slipped my mind...

    Laughing out loud, man! Good stuff, for real.