Once Upon a Time

As a young man, long before I ever kissed my first girl friend, (Actually I had kissed my sisters but you know what they say about that) I had a crush on one of the young ladies I went to school with. Actually she went to our church and that was probably kept me going there long after the desire to get up early on Sunday passed.
This fine young lady's mother was about the best cook I had ever met. After eating a small sampling of chicken her mother had cooked I managed to wrangle an invitation over for Sunday dinner. Visions of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and sweet buttery home made rolls danced in my head. They were from the south so they served sweet tea but hey, you can't have everything. Being there with that fine young lady was nice but truly the way to my heart was through my stomach at that age.
Just as if in a dream the meal was served with the entire family around the table and piles of food were set on the table. I was almost dizzy from all the good smells. Beyond that dream was the reality that the food was the best I had ever eaten. I managed to eat my fill without embarrassing myself. There was an apple pie with ice cream served at the end and I swear I thought I was going to have to unbutton my jeans or explode. (I really would have never done that but hey, it is my story)
After that wonderful meal, I was escorted in to the living room and my young girl friend sat down beside me. I felt about as content as I had ever felt in my life. We had a nice conversation for a while and finally the topic shifted to our relationship. The girl's mother said, "You kids do know that you are way too young to get serious." Talk about a dose of cold water poured right down the middle of my back! Heck, I was there for the fried chicken. About that time, in her sweetest voice the young girl friend looked her mother straight in the eye and said, "Mother, you do realize that I am older than you were when you had me, don't you?" Wow, the reality of that statement scared the h, e, double toothpicks right out of me. They were talking about sex and having kids and I didn't even have a driver's license.
What could I say, what I could I do. I think I mumbled something about needing to get home and beat it right out of that house. I swear that wonderful meal almost got deposited on their front porch as I walked out into the bright light of day.
This story was one of my many encounters with the law of unintended consequences. Just be aware that looking for that best chicken dinner can mean a lot more to some people than it does to you. Last time I had heard anything from her, Sheila was still married to one of the guys we went to church with. I on the other hand went merrily on my way through life until I met the cutest girl in Yermo, California. Next February we will have been married 40 years.

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