Have You Laughed Today?

I have a good friend in Texas, Bob Bartholomew that often sends me E-Mails about funny things that happen in the Military. This morning I opened my mail and found a message that was funny all over the place. A Lady was asked by the Detroit Aid to Dependent Children Services who the father of her child was. Her answer, " I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like When you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart." Winner, winner, Chicken Dinner, DING, Ding, Ding... I will have a smile all day over that one.

A close runner up was the thought was the definition of old age - Every thing either dries up or leaks.

There was one Military joke that was worth mention. Iranian ATC came up on the net and told a US Plane that they had the plane in Iranian air space. If he didn't leave, they would send up an interceptor. The Pilot replied, "This is a US Marine F-18 in Iraqi airspace and I can wait for his arrival." Nothing was heard from the Iranian ATC after that.

My favorite was the closer of the E-mail. Bob and Dennis met in the park every day to discuss life and to feed the squirrels. For three years running they met there and talked. One day Dennis went to the park and Bob wasn't there. Not knowing where Bob lived, he couldn't got over and check on Bob so he just continued to go to the park every day in hopes that Bob would turn up. Finally after three months, Bob was there on the bench when Dennis arrived.

"Man, where have you been?" Dennis Asked

Bob Replied, "Jail."

"How did that happen?" Dennis Asked.

"You know that blond waitress over at the coffee shop?" Bob replied. "She charged me with rape and when the trial started I was so flattered that I pled guilty."

"Man, you don't get 90 days for rape." Dennis said.

"Yes, you are right, at 75 I just couldn't help but plead guilty." Bob answered. "The judge knew I was lying and he gave me 90 days for perjury!" (The names were changed to insinuate guilt. - everyone knows that I hate those little bushy tailed rats)

Today I will have good reason to live up to my motto. Smile and make them wonder what you have been up to.


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