Things I probably won't ever do, Again?

The other day as we drove down 45th Street here in Topeka I saw the roller rink there on the south side of the road. From no where, the thought came to me that I'll probably never roller skate again. I fall down enough without adding six inches to my height. As a kid I skated all the time and fell down a lot. Then I was able to bounce back up and go some more.

That thought made me think about all the things I have given up because of age, intelligence or sheer fear of hurting myself. The reason for the question mark in the subject of this post is there are things I have never done and probably won't do for the first time. Here are some:

• Skydiving. I know Bush 41 did it late in life but I just never did have any thoughts that I would willingly put on a parachute and jump on or off anything. When the subject of jump school came up when i was in the service I asked them who the other two people would be? What other two? those big som'bitches that it would take to throw me off that plane.
  
• Hunting Even without VP Chaney, I probably won't go out and take pot shots at Bambi or the birds. I have been known to ambush a squirrel or two when they start eating the house but that is hardly hunting.
• Throw a rip roaring drunk. I may not be sober for the rest of my life but I am sober now and will probably remain that way. It has been 15 years or so, so I'll probably not do that.
• Go to War. It isn't that I am afraid for my life, but damn, I need a nap now and then and those sneaky enemies might just get me . They sure as heck could find me from the snoring.
  
• Driving a race car. I can't turn my head fast enough at 70, I can't imagine what it would be like real fast.
• Climb Mountains. A guy can get hurt doing things like that.

I guess I'll just continue being the same old boring guy I already am. Writing this crap may just be as crazy as it gets.

MUD