Kansas, the Land of Ahs!

The following was sent to me by the sister of my best friend. Please excuse the formatting.

Jeff Foxworthy remarks on being or living in Kansas

- If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times
each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you
might live in Kansas .

- If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Kansas .

- If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
Kansas .

- If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
Manhattan , Kansas .

- If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas .

- YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Kansan WHEN "Vacation" means going east or west on I70 for the weekend

- If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas .

- If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might
live in Kansas .

- If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you might live in Kansas .

- If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, wthout flinching, you might live in Kansas.

- If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings),
you might live in Kansas . (This is so true!)

- If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

You might live in Kansas.

- If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use
them you might ;live in Kansas.

- If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue
spruce, you might live in Kansas .

- If you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.., you might live in
Kansas .

- If Going Down South means Oklahoma , you might live in Kansas .

- If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas .

- If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might
live in Kansas .

- If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party , you
might live in Kansas .

- If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in
Goodland , Kansas .

- If you find 0 degrees to be "a little chilly", you might live in Kansas .

If you actually understand these jokes, you might live in Kansas.

MUD