Criminal Minds

Jay Leno, before the late night programs went belly up, had a segment where he would make fun of stupid criminals. I think it was some kind of a conspiracy that Jay moved to a one hour show at 9PM and Dave Letterman true nature exposed himself. The newest entry into the late night foray had Lisa Lampanelli on as a guest. In case you haven't been paying attention, she is the foul mouthed woman that has hosted those roasts on the comedy channel where Bleep us the most common word.

Now, back to the criminal mind and just how stupid it can be... Last night, a 52 year old Topeka man lowered himself headfirst into one of those big exhaust fan vents to try to break into a local business that was a restaurant but is now a smoke shop. Well, the well played but not thought out idea just led to that idiot being stuck upside down in the vent for three hours. The fire department had to come out and lift/pry/rope him out of that vent. Yes, he went to Jail after they treated his rope burns. I guess he wanted a pack of smokes. I can't imagine how dirty he got in that vent.

Yesterday I went to one of the local Quick Shops to get a bag of ice. When I walked up to the counter there was this cute young girl buying a pack of cigarettes. The shop owner did card her and she was just barely legal. She paid almost $5.00 for that 20 pack of cigarettes. I told her that 10 years from now she will wish she had stopped smoking today. It would be easy right now and later on, she will have to suffer. She smiled and went off with the pack in her hand. I guess being an old man with a Witty word just wasn't enough. I wonder what an investment of $20.00 a week would be worth by the time she is 60... No, she will be like a list of my friends that smoked and not live that long. I ran into a friend this week and he told me about a buddy that drank and smoked himself right into a heart attack and died a month back. Oh well...


1 comment:

  1. Hey MUD, several years ago, some damned fool went head-first down the chimney, breaking in to the house of a wealthy local attorney.

    You guessed it...got stuck in there. It was hilarious! There was a film crew in the house covering the story, while the police and firemen dragged the guy the rest of the way down the chimney.

    On the way out, the dude lost his pants...and underwear. It made national news. I'll have to look and see if it's on YouTube somewhere.