- Younger. Well, I would have to go back to work full time. Never mind.
- Richer. Well, I have been threatening to get a dumpster to get rid of all the stuff I have and if I had more money, I would buy more stuff, Never mind
- Better looking. Now what the hell would I do with this? Get a girlfriend and lose half of everything to the divorce lawyers. Never mind
- Travel more. OK, I have a seven day rule that I need to be home about every 7 days or I get grumpy. OK, I'm grumpy a lot of the time. Never mind.
- Better Dressed. Are you kidding, a 60 year old guy that cares what the heck he looks like or what he wears. Never mind.
- Better Fed. With a wife that insists we eat vegetables at every meal I could eat better? I also have a $50.00 gift certificate from the local meat market that I haven't cashed in yet. Never mind.
- More Verbose. Now, if I had a better gift of the Blarney Stone I could go around making stuff up a lot more regular. Lets see, I posted three times yesterday. (With Pictures mind you) Na, Never Mind.